Prometheus, Stupid by Jeff Foxworthy Standards

$1 Trillion for Windows 7 in 2093? Government Contracts.

Ridley Scott will probably win a dozen Academy Awards for his blockbuster SYFY adventure "Prometheus".  However, after scanning dozens of message boards and World of Warcraft forums the voting for Jeff Foxworthy's "Stupid of the Year" Award will most definitely go to the highest educated crew of "Space Truckers" in movie history. Here is a sample of just a few issues hard core Alien franchise fans have with Dr. Shaw and Ms. "Lap Dance" Vickers.

Moments of Prometheus Crew stupidity: 
- PHD in Geology and Geography getting lost despite making the master map.
- PHD in Biology responds to aggressive snake with a vagina for a face by trying to pet it.
- The crew splitting up within hours of landing on an hostile planet.
- The crew on the ship not bothering to monitor the two stranded team members.
- The ship's crew not monitoring local weather activity at regular intervals.
- Waking up the 2000 year old 10 foot tall sleeping giant and asking a stupidly selfish question straight off without even a "Howdy, want some juice?"
- The captain for opening the ramp for "Fifield". Prometheus had cameras for the ramp. The captain could quite clearly see that something wasn't right.
- Shaw making a big speech about how the expedition was for science, and insisting no weapons should be taken into the really big scary ancient building on a strange planet 3 trillion miles from home.
- Holloway covering up his illness and the crew for trying to let him back onboard.

"We need a bigger boat"

- The crew trying to touch things (what the hell, Chance?). In the original expedition, Shaw even had to tell them not to play with the big, ominuous looking canisters.
- Being completely oblivious to David's actions. Yeah, it's ok they missed him setting off the ghost-like images, but how did they not notice him crouching over that canister? Plus, the crew up in the ship was supposedly monitoring his cameras.
- Playing with an alien head while wearing only a face mask, some latex gloves, and a hair net thing. and...
- Not one single orbital pass to map the planet.
- Not one Probe or Orbiter to test the atmosphere.
- The Captain of the ship ceding complete control to a Corporate VP.
- No government involvement at all whatsoever in the largest deep space exploration to date?
- No First Contact protocols or containment procedures.
- Sticking the 2000 year old, amazingly well preserved, over size head with a cattle prod and shocking it. Kind of like a Jeff Foxworthy poke it with a stick in the south joke.
- Not one fly by to examine the outside of the facility.
- Surgical Pod sophisticated enough to do super fast advanced surgical procedures not be programmed to work on females.
- Skin tight spacesuits that Vickers can put on, seal and lock in less than thirty seconds while hyperventilating.
- Fifield smokes pot in his helmet.
- Ford thinks 3% of CO will kill you in a matter of minutes.
- The captain goes to bang Vickers while his men are stranded outside of the ship and there is a "ping" indicating a lifeform.
- The pilot and copilot are Kamikaze Power Rangers.
- Vickers can't run to the left.
- Holloway takes his helmet off. Later after people are dead and sick the whole crew takes them off yet again.
- Not one Hazmat suit in the medical bay for the Head Stick poking incident but full blown 1940s style iron man suits to put the tiny drugged pregnant lady into bed?
- Token guy no 1 listens to Shaw when she says not to carry a gun.
- Token guy no 2 just stares at spiderlike zombie Fiefield.
- Token guys 3,4,5,6... generally just stand there.

Is that enough for a cinematic disaster?

NOPE..........

$1 Trillion and eighty years can buy an Aircraft Carrier sized Interstellar Ion Drive Spaceship equipped with hypersleep beds, a dream communication system, and self aware AI grade human looking androids BUT you don't get UAVs, seat belts or Weapons.

Ask about our upgrade program!!!

BTW, Since you forgot to upgrade to the XLT package your away team gets to ride into the most important discovery in human history on the back of an open air dune buggy that any Walmart sells for $300.

Video: Washington Beltway UFO sighting?

Greece begins Euro-Zombie Preparations

 "United States of Europe with Berlin as the capital."
According to CNBC Greeks have been withdrawing €800m a day from the banks. They are stocking up on pasta and canned goods in anticipation of nothing good coming of the elections slated to be held this Sunday.
Meanwhile in Spain, it is the same thing just in a different language. While the Dutch parliament has voted for a Euro zone deal to lend up to €100bn to Spain it was a close call. Labor MP Ronald Plasterk said: " I want to see pain. It cannot be the case that banks are restructured and people walk out whistling. I want shareholders to bleed, I want a ban on bonuses."
This from Daniel Hannan, who is MEP for South East England.said, "The only impact of this bailout has been to indebt every Spanish household with a further €15,000 that they didn't have last week. Europe is giving itself a transfusion... it's taking blood from one arm and pumping it into the other arm. "
READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE HERE:  http://www2.ljworld.com/weblogs/the-week-that-was/2012/jun/13/zombie-banking/

Out of the Blue UFO Movie

Zombies: A Living History

Courtesy of the History Channel. This is a forgotten educational documentary on the true nature of the zombie menace.

Avengers Assemble!!! Nerd Parody

' Bath Salts' Triggering Zombie Rages?

'Miami Cannibal' Victim still alive as his face was eaten.

• Rudy Eugene, 31, tore into victim's face with his teeth and growled Police believe he may have taken 'bath salts,' a potent new drug
• Images have been released of Ronald Poppo, 65, recovering in Miami hospital75 per cent of victim's face chewed off in 'some of the most horrific injuries staff have ever encountered'
• 
  
• Was still conscious when he was stretchered off to hospitalInvestigators trying to piece together last hours of Eugene's life

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2152208/Rudy-Eugene-Miami-cannibal-attack-video-shows-victim-Ronald-Poppo-conscious.html#ixzz1wQYy1rQh

A U.S. cage fighter ripped out the heart of his training partner while he was still alive.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1282647/US-cage-fighter-Jarrod-Wyatt-rips-training-partner-Taylor-Powells-heart.html#ixzz1wQZsDREO

Lollipop Chainsaw coming soon...

Sweet and sexy zombie-hunter Juliet Starling and chainsaw. Play her in a xbox quest to uncover the root of a colossal zombie outbreak.

Canada Fly-In Lakes Provide Unique Survival Options

By Ghris J Phillips

Ontario Fly-In lakes delight tourists by providing outstanding fishing and other recreational activities. People come from miles away to experience the serenity and beauty of the Canadian wilderness. The area is great for bird watchers, photographers, canoe enthusiasts and anglers. Many lakes boast of populations of trophy game fish.

Canoeing opportunities are a real treat in the remote sections of Canada's pine forests. The interconnected waterways that traverse the forest are home to black bear, moose, red fox, timber wolves, white-tailed deer, beaver and other wildlife. Enjoying the call of a loon that pierces the air is all part of the experience in this part of Canada. In Wabakimi Provincial Park you may also be lucky enough to see woodland caribou. The park is home to around three hundred caribou.

For fishermen, the remote lakes of Ontario's wilderness are among the world's best for highly sought after species like walleye and northern pike. Pike over twenty pounds are not uncommon and many walleye exceed ten pounds in this area. Some locations also have smallmouth bass, perch and lake trout.

During the summer, swimming and sunbathing are popular past times. The water is cool but refreshing. August and September tend to be the best months for swimming, because the water temperature is tolerable and the mosquito season has abated. During the spring and early summer, bug repellent is an item you should not leave behind. Sun screen is also advisable.

Many areas have remote cabins that you can stay in. They frequently feature modern amenities and can be a great place to relax after a day of canoeing and fishing. For a more rustic vacation, back country campsites are also an option. Travelers may wish to stay out under the stars at night and begin fishing at the crack of dawn, miles away from the trappings of urban civilization.

Many of these lakes are only accessible by bush plane, so they are not over-fished or overpopulated. You can enjoy a true one of a kind wilderness adventure and bring back photos and memories. Whether you camp outdoors or rent a secluded cottage, your experience is sure to be a memorable one.

Ontario Fly-In lakes offer excellent fishing, canoeing and swimming opportunities. Here the coniferous forests smell of pine and the sounds of the wild come to life, playing music in your ears. Leave behind the hustle and bustle of the city and you can experience the tranquility of the Ontario wilderness first hand.

About the Author:

You can find a brief summary of the things to keep in mind when choosing Ontario fly in lakes and a description of Wabakimi Lake on our website, right now.

Topics To Read On The Survivalist Blog

There are clearly some essential topics you are going to want to find out about if you're looking at a survivalist blog. So it's vital that you find a blog which shares details about many of the fundamentals of becoming a survivalist so that you know the ins and outs of what exactly is happening with this particular type of thinking and also surviving.

The first thing you certainly wish to focus on on a blog that is written for many different survivalists is you need to know whether or not the author seems to be hungry to continue to share her or his knowledge. There are plenty of various things going on in the survivalist world so you'll want to stick with an authority that is going to continuously keep you up to date with everything that is going on in the survivalist world.

The one thing you certainly need to comprehend is that you aren't likely to be able to survive if you do not learn all the various skills and techniques that you need to know in order to make it on your own if some sort of major tragedy was ever to take place on a worldwide scale. So you want this individual teaching you all the various techniques that will certainly show you how to survive.

A blog that teaches people how to survive also need to teach individuals who they must be prepared and ready at a moment's notice. The only way you're ever going to survive a major catastrophe is if you've got contingency plans in place which will give you the ability to survive just about any situation. The blogger you're working with has to provide these details to you to be able to learn how to incorporate it in your own life.

These are the basic major topics that you definitely wish to look out for when you first begin frequently reading a survivalist blog.

About the Author:

If the author of the blog continuously hits on these topics then you've got definitely found yourself a wonderful resource that you need to continue reading on a regular basis. Survivalist blogger.